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I’m on Twitter.   How fucking funny is that?   Forget the whole sinister transforming into bats motif: it’s all little white birds and ditzy chirpy names for things.   Except for the way you describe your social circle.   Man, I love that.   ‘Following’ and ‘followers’ – that’s just awesome.   I’m a stalker or a cult leader.   Hell, yes – either works for me.

Tell me social networking isn’t the latest blood sucker though.   People entombed in their houses, up all night, feeding on those they are following and hungry for more followers.   I honestly can’t believe the stuff people put out there about themselves – they’re just offering up the jugular to any passing psycho.   “What are you doing?” – well, making restraining orders redundant, encouraging stalkers to track your every move, and presenting yourself as the willing sacrifice, the lamb to the slaughter.   Nice work.   (N.B.   It’s just too much to hope that Edward Cullen is a phonetic joke about culling, isn’t it?   Yep.   I thought so too…)

And at least my lot generally have the courtesy to be relatively discrete and private about their little trawling for a bite, and it’s only – well – ‘contagious’ if the fish bite back.   We’re isolated incidents, but social networking is a full-on bubonic plague – and I can tell you, that ain’t pretty.   (N.B. You know that part in Interview with a Vampire when Brad Pitt is living on rats?   Would NEVER happen.   Too many of us around for the time of the Black Death – but that’s a whole other story…)

Anyway.   WhoisJonathon8.   Some little prick beat me to the simple version, so I’m going for the enigma.   Nice, eh?   Twitter, meet Jonathon.   When in Rome, do – well, do unto others, actually.   Who am I to not snap up the opportunities modern technology is offering me?   Easy pickings, kids.   Takeaway menus.  

Come find me.   Or don’t bother.

I can always find you.

 

NEXT ENTRY…

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4 Comments

    • Rosemarie Fullerton
    • Posted January 22, 2010 at 4:03 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    “I can always find you.”

    Hmmm, so are you omniscient like God or Santa herein where you know where anyone is at any given moment? That’s pretty clever, I barely know where I am half the time.

    Seriously though, I am enjoying reading your blog so far.

    • Not omniscient. Just – relentless…

        • Rosemarie Fullerton
        • Posted January 25, 2010 at 8:55 pm
        • Permalink

        i think i might appreciate that far more.

  1. Now i am pretty sure it wasn’t a dream tonight.


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