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And that was only the beginning.   Because then the phone rings.


It’s Kane.   And he is fucking ropeable.   We’d planned to go see Terminator Salvation that night, and I blew him off because Py was in town.   Okay, we’d been planning to go for ages, and I do have a thing for movies where the world and humanity as we know it has been taken over by relentless killers (though they rarely end the way I’d like.)   But hell – it was Py.   What was I gonna do?

Anyway, seems Kane saw me and Py crashing a party across his street (it was pre-dinner fun, fortunately).   But I’d said I was going to be studying.   Honestly, he should have guessed the minute I gave him such a wanked-up excuse – he knows I don’t study.   I was just so fucking excited about hanging with Py again that I would have said anything, and so bloody reckless that night that I wasn’t even caring who the fuck saw me where.   That became a problem too – but more of that later.

So Kane’s calling me a shithead and a fuckwit for lying to him, and I’m trying to nurse my aching temples where a latent bloodlust vein is still pulsing like a fiend, wipe the dark crust Jenna hopefully didn’t recognise from around my mouth, cradle the phone under my chin, and say something kind of conciliatory.

Kane said “Don’t even bother, dickwad,” and hung up on me.

Just in time, actually, because I barely made it to the john to puke – well – someone else’s guts up, mostly,  into the depths of the rarely-used porcelain.   Vomiting is not pretty at the best of times, and it’s fucking unpleasant when your digestive system is used to a liquid diet that doesn’t include any kind of violent activity.   I mean… you know what I mean.   So now I’m wiping more red off my face, and feeling like absolute shit.

I clean up enough to stumble into my room, and suddenly realise Py has gone.   Made his exit, as usual.   Came in, created glorious hellish havoc, and disappeared like a fucking phantom.   (N. B. Which he’s not, by the way.   We don’t turn into vapour or bats or any of that kind of shit.   Geez – don’t start up with that crap again…)   But jacket, shades, and my tube of sunscreen – all gone.


So.   To sum up that morning after, the one that had been as pleasurable an experience as – oh, I don’t know? – a lengthy summer sun-bake on a beach might be?  

Little Jenna might have interesting tales to tell to her mom about what she saw this morning, my best friend is shittier with me than I’ve ever seen him before (which is actually unsettling me for some reason), the bathroom is a bloodbath in every conceivable way, and the one cold bastard I look up to in this world has fucked off home (wherever that is) without a word.   And now I can’t find the Cat.

And that’s when I hear the sirens.   Awesome.   Just what my head needed.  

Trouble is, they’re getting louder, and now they’ve stopped.

Outside my house.





  1. you’re amusing, i’ll give you that…

    • I wouldn’t give me anything, if I were you. You never know what I’ll do with it…

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