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In the darkness, well before the sun rises, the iphone and I are waiting here quietly at the moment, listening – so just a quick word from Mr 8 tonight, boys and girls.


Let’s be clear.   You can’t outrun us, overpower us or outwit us – you’re terrified and unable to believe your senses, and we’re hungry and well-practised.   Your best bet is avoidance.   Believe me.

Here are the no-nos…

1. Alone

2. At night

3. In a secluded area

4. Away from street lights

5. Wearing the scent of fear

6. And distracting yourself from the imagined terrors of the dark by surfing the net with your own iphone (aren’t you?) – maybe even reading this very blog (how ironic!), and so not noticing the the thin dark shape leaning (listening -waiting) against the side fence you just passed (yes, that one) unfold itself from the shadows and step out (don’t look) behind you…

Don’t you wish you’d read this a little sooner, buddy?


Too late now.




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