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First day at a new school seem just too daunting?

Never fear – Jonathon8 has some handy hints…


1. Be  a vampire.   We don’t give a shit.

2. Hold curious gazes just long enough to make the other person uncomfortable

3. Be faintly mysterious (very effective tactic)

4. Don’t lose your class schedule or map of the school

5. Don’t be caught looking at said schedule or map in public

6. Blow off the person assigned to look after you if they aren’t cool enough

7. Spend first day classes sizing up your class mates: I find “Potentially of Interest”, “Expendable” and “Fuckwit” to be useful categories initially

8. If a pale and shiny vegetarian vampire turns up, wake yourself up from the nightmare and just deal with your boring math class as the lesser evil

9. If a cheerleader called Buffy inexplicably wants to be your best friend, and you’ve adhered to rule one, say no.

10. And finally.   Decide who you’re going to be for the next few years – but choose well, because the fucking label is going to stick, dude…


(I’m thinking it’s been a while since I’ve played the ‘bad boy’.   Fuck yeah.   Let the fun begin…)





  1. A ‘bad boy’ isn’t exactly a reanimated caveman, but you can use some Neanderthal gestures and tactics.

    Example 1: You remain curiously quiet and speak mostly in grunts.

    Example 2: Instead of completing the test, you wad up the paper and hurl it at the teacher.

    Example 3: You feel free to grab the ass of every tasty thing that strolls by you.


    • I’m intending to be a little more – creative…

  2. I think you are a “bad boy” all the time

  3. Okey Jonathon, i’m little drunk, but still i’dont fucking believe you… right? i think you are fat boy with problems… where is the fucking prove my dear…i ask you something and your answer is read my blog… read my blog.. yes, yes.. i’ve read your blog its great… but please answer my stupid queostions.. please!
    Thank you Vampire

    • Either you don’t believe me, OR I’m a vampire. Make up your mind, lady…

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