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So get this.   In Shakespeare’s time, okay? – “naughty” didn’t mean cute and mischevious and vaguely disobedient.   To be naughty was to be wicked.   Villainous.   Evil.

So I get the whole fucking irony between that petty shit I talked about getting into trouble for as the self-created ‘bad boy’ at school, and the other – extra-curricular activities – I get up to out of school hours.   Being ‘bad’ – being ‘naughty’ – is all about semantics and subjectivity, kids.   It’s about words having different meanings – and about how you look at things.

Let me put it this way.   At this new school, yeah? – I’m playing at being ‘bad’.   Disruptive, attention-seeking bullshit.   And it works – I alternatively amuse and piss people off, get given arbitrary ‘punishments’ (that are their own entertainment, as far as I’m concerned), and score myself a cool reputation.   Thing is – it’s totally relative.   This is one fucking tough and scary school.   Kids have got caught here with guns, knives, suicide letters and fucking hard drugs.   There’s been full-on assaults on teachers, threats on the school, and abuse of fellow students that’s gonna take years of therapy after the physical damage heals.   It’s absolutely fucked up, my friends.   And my little mucking-around escapades are kiddy pranks compared to the real things going on out there.  

On Thursday for example, some kid was apparently about to get the shit beaten out of him in a bathroom at lunchtime.   Funnily enough though, that was the bathroom where I’d been experimenting with some amateur plumbing a little earlier.   Fate decided that particular round of awaiting bullies should get picked up as the culprits when it began to rain in the staffroom below.   The kid missed his appointment with pain.   And I decided let his persecutors take the bathroom blame – only to happy to share…

But dumb kinds of exploits are the hallmarks of being ‘bad’ at high school.   ‘Troubled’ is the next best word for all the kids causing all the really dodgy shit that can happen…


At school I’m nominally bad.   But after school – you lot know that’s when I really start being a problem to society.   Kind of.   Because that’s about the way you look at it, too.

You kill things to eat.   Every one of you.   Animals – plants.   Fuck – you kill things just to wear, to smell, to sit on or to look at.   Even I don’t do that.

Why am I the bad guy, then?   I’m the bad guy because you’re fucking threatened by me.   Because I could choose you.


So evil is subjective.   Naughty has lots of meanings.   Making moral judgements  is usually about self-protection and avoiding responsibility and handing out guilt.


There’s bad stuff out there in the world.   Don’t think you can blame me and my kind for it all.


Right then.

I’m going out buy a PS3, a new sound system, and an un-ergonomic sofa.

And then I’m going out to eat.  

Don’t fucking wait up.




One Comment

  1. A predator for every creature is a proven fact. It’s not disturbing or mean or gruesome, it’s just reality. What IS gruesome is doing it in excess. Same deal goes with everything else in life for whatever creature, excess = not good. Keep it on the DL and you can party longer without trouble.

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