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There are few things that surprise me.

Not a boast – just a fact.   There’s not a lot of things that are still unexpected in the world when you’ve been kicking around it as long as I have.

Today there were three.


1.   Walked into class, hale and hearty after the school bully treated me to a gunshot wound for Halloween.   As you would appreciate, this was not surprising if you’re me.   It is surprising if you’re pretty sure you killed me on the weekend, and you don’t know about my – propensities.   The look on Brix’s face was meant to make the last few unpleasant days all worth it.   So – without displaying a gaping hole in the midriff or looking more deathly or ethereal than usual, I sauntered into English with Macbeth tucked studiously and appropriately under my arm.   As if on cue to prove my corporeal state, Harmony ducked in the door behind me and punched me ruefully for taking so long to recover from the stomach pains of ‘overindulging’ on the holiday.

Brix looked up – ah.   Wait for it.   Shock, horror, guilt, dawning realisation, bewilderment, frustration, fury, relief, terror…   Any second now.  

No.   Nothing.   Fucking nothing.   He sat there, stony-faced, a blank wall of – Brix.   What the fuck?   So okay, yes.   I was surprised.


2.   By lunchtime, I was actually feeling – weird.   Because now I was kinda thinking that it was pretty fucking cool.   I mean – for a high school nemesis, Brix had really upped the ante.   Dude had hunted me down, gone for the kill, and gone on like nothing had happened.   I was sort of proud of him, ruthless little sociopath that the boy was proving to be.   Sure, he’d clearly been totally wasted on whatever his mommy likes tripping on, and maybe he’d convinced himself it was all some drug-fucked nightmare and never happened – but I didn’t think so.   Fairly certain he couldn’t have talked himself out of that reality – that momentous experience.   Who would have thought Jonathon would have so much blood in him, right?  

Even wondering if maybe he saw something that needed destroying in me, now – misguided nobility to kill what he’d realised was monstrous and inhuman.   A real antagonist, yeah?  And that’s pretty cool.   Dumb – but pretty fucking cool.   And okay, yes.   Finding myself thinking like that – I was surprised.


3.   By the final bell, my fawking pseudo-revenge plot was falling into shit.   See – you know I don’t really ‘get’ vengeance.   It’s just cleaning up inconveniences.   But I was almost rethinking the fall of Brix now.   Not a moral dilemma of course, but more a reoccurance of that occasional suspicion I get that the world might be more interesting with certain people still ending up in it – rather than their innards ending up in me. (At least for a while, anyway.   It’s why Harmony hasn’t mysteriously disappeared.   Yet.   And Kane – never mind.)

But then – it’s Brix.   The dude did try to kill me.   And it fucking hurt.   And he was being a fucking pain in the ass before that.   No – look.   He totally fucking needs to go.   Where was he now?

He and three other guys were loading noisily into his car, down in the lower carpark.   I stood on the grassy slope by the flag pole, and watched Brix pull out the gates, rev unnecessarily around the corner, and begin picking up speed to show off to the waiting kids loading into the school buses out front.

And then – just for a second – he looked over, and caught my eye.   And there were fucking daggers in his smile.   And I knew he knew what he’d done, and that I was a fucking dead man as he’d said all along, and that somehow he was going to get to the bottom of this, because if you take someone down, they should stay fucking dead, and that this was only the beginning because now he was ready for me, and

Bus pulled out suddenly.   Brix looked back too late.   Car swerved, missed the bus – wrapped itself around a tree.

Okay, yes.

I was surprised.





  1. Karma? Fate? Cosmic justice? Or did you just get really fucking lucky? I’m going with lucky, but then… you haven’t even told us if he’s dead or not!

    Damn you J…

  2. Karma is a Bitch and a half..Either way I’m glad the fucker is gone,and there’s one less person to make your “life” difficult. And one less Bully in the world..WTG J8!

  3. WOW! Nice….I’m assuming he didn’t die…anticipating this outcome almost as much as your gunshot recovery…I know you know it already, but you are truly brilliant, my friend!!

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