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Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.

Yeah.   Like you’re fucking surprised.


So – a short while back I had that little chat to Py.   I labelled it for you, so there’s no holding me in contempt.   The art of lying.   And after centuries, you know I’m bloody brilliant at it.   I just didn’t point out which elements were the lies, did I?  

Yes, lies.   Plural.

But when I said I was keeping you in the dark even before that, I meant it.   I mean – I meant you.  


Let me introduce you to the concept of the unreliable narrator.   Duh.

You think because I address this to you sometimes that you get the full story?

Fuck no, boys and girls.   Sorry to send your sentimental ideas about our chatty intimacy into recess, but hey – I’ve warned you plenty of times.   Remember who and what you’re talking to – emotional connections are not our thing.   I look out for me.   I only talk here about what I want to put out there about me and my kind, and sometimes I lie a little to amuse myself.

And sometimes I lie a lot to protect myself.

So I’m sure you’ve noticed I’ve been – a little fucking quieter than usual lately.   And that’s been because the jury was out on sharing some of my recent shit with any of you lot – or with Py.   But as that situation is about to change very very soon, I’ve finally decided it’s time to publish the little secret I’ve been harboring the last month or so.

So – here it is.

The truth, right.

I – well, I fucking swear.


You see…

While Py’s been running around looking, and you’ve been sitting there wondering – and locking your doors at night, if you’ve any fucking sense…


I’ve known where Amelia is.

That whole time.





  1. :O You son of a bitch!

    • My mother died centuries ago, but you should probably leave her out of this anyway…

  2. o_O I am shocked! Well where the effin’ hell is she and what are you gonna do about her? Ugh, the suspense!!

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