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[Another collection of the most witty, intelligent and entertaining questions I get asked.   Oh – and some fucking ridiculous ones too…]

 

On Culinary Delights…

What did you eat for breakfast today?
Your mom.

What’s one food you’ll never eat again?
Cat.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
Chicken.   You can guess what it tasted like.

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Blonde.

What’s the most delicious meal you’ve ever had?
Don’t you mean who?

 

On Recent Events…

So, Mr. 8.   Bored yet with eternity?
I was, six months ago.   But then I started blogging, and things got fucking interesting.   In a holy-shit, what-the-fuck kind of way, of course…

If you could change one thing that happened last year what would it be?
Fuck.   Good question.   Probably – probably should have just killed Kane that very first week of blogging, shouldn’t I…?

Why are you so sneery about humans: surely you were one once?
My best friend is a human.   Sure – might eat her some day, but that’s nothing to sneer at…

Why do you let Py push you around?
Dude’s a fucking legend.   Been a fan of his exploits for years.   And sheesh – if having him around for some bloody fun means putting up with some occasional shit, fine.

When last did you take a bath?
Had a lovely bloodbath on the weekend, and needed to shower after that.   Do either of those count…?

What did you dream about last night?
Not Carly.   Shut the fuck up.

 

On History…

What’s your earliest memory?
Watching my older brother being taught how to gut a pig.   Juicy…

How did you die, and how were you turned?
Met a girl in red.   She saw red – I bled red.   Then we played in blood for decades.   Old habits die hard, I guess.

Did you have anything to do with the missing colony at Roanoke?
Well.   I gotta be honest.   Amelia and I did go travelling just after I joined the flock…

What’s been your favorite meal – or at least a highly memorable one?
The Mary Celeste crew made for a fun dinner party, now I think about it…

What’s the oldest piece of clothing you still own and wear?
1950s double-breasted waistcoat-thing.   Fucking love that vest – got it tailored for some swish party in Eastern Europe, and I’m still dragging the old thread-bare thing around with me…

What were you doing a hundred years ago?
Hmm.   Ate Crippen’s wife around then, I remember – dude flipped when he found the body and messed up getting rid of it.   Fun times.

 

On Sense and Nonsense…

What do you miss most?
Fucking awesome question.   Sneezing.   Seriously.

Can you fly?
Do I _look_ like the lurid spandex and fucking underwear-on-the-outside sort to you?

What’s your favourite smell?
You mean other than you?

Why are vampire emotions so different from humans?   Maybe you don’t know, but it seems odd that as a human you would have felt emotions but they all vanish when you become a vampire, never to love again.
Death tends to do that to you.

Have you ever, or would you ever, have a relationship with a human?   Could it be physical?
Depends what you mean by ‘relationship’.   It’s not like I do the ‘love’ thing…   And I’m carnivorous, not castrated…

Just out of curiosity, have you ever killed a pregnant woman?   I realize no one is completely safe from you; I’m just wondering if I can relax a little bit when walking to my car at night.
Sob-story victims are not a wise choice – too high-profile a kill.   But then, ‘hungry’ can outweigh ‘wise’…

If you could choose, how would you want to die?
Bloodily.   Worked well for me the first time…

 

On Entertainment…

What inspires you?
To violence?   I like to consider myself self-motivated…

What career are you looking to follow?
You mean other than smart-ass serial killing blogger?   Seems to be keeping me occupied for now…

What’s your biggest phobia?
That Twilight will become a worldwide phenomenon – oh.   Wait…

If you could have the starring role in one movie what would it be?
“Musings of a High School Vampire” – it’s gonna be next summer’s blockbuster, boys and girls…

How long before your need for anonymous attention becomes the end of you?
Fucked if I know.   But then – I like to ‘live’ dangerously…

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?
Brix?   Sunlight?   No – I know.   Stephenie Meyer.   You can thank me later.

 

NEXT ENTRY…

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5 Comments

  1. You don’t anything about grape Flavor-Aid do you???

    • No. I don’t anything about whatever the hell that is.

      • I made a typo and neglected to fix it. My apologies. It was,”do you know anything about…” (reference to the Guyana/Jim Jones incident)

  2. Heh, I heard a rumor a couple months back that Stephenie Meyer had died and I thought for sure you were in Arizona…


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