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Shh.   We’re waiting.   Look up there.

No – look.   There.   See it?   Up in the corner of the ceiling.

Yeah – I know it’s dark.   That’s because the first thing you do is disconnect the fucking lightbulb of course.   You some kind of amateur?   Bet you would have tried to break in at the bloody door too, when there was a perfectly good window left ajar at night…


Anyway – are you looking?   Yeah – that’s the one.   Lean hungry black spider perched up there.   Small and fast – those are the little fuckers you have to look out for…  

Huh – check it.   He’s coming down – daintily, confidently dropping in on a new hunting ground, leaving long lines of silken trip wire.  

That reminds me.   Help me move this sofa – we’ll need some room, and it helps with the initial disorientation…


Now – where’d he go?   Look out.   He’s on the floor somewhere.   He’ll be creeping – gently, stealthily, feeling his way, all senses attuned for…

Oh.   There he is.   Just crawling up over your shoulder there…

Oh for fuck’s sake.   It was a joke.   Shut up with the screaming.   It’s not on your shoulder.

It’s there, climbing across your ankle.


Just fucking sit still, all right?   He’s not interested in you tonight.   He has other things to bite.

See?   He’s on that table leg now.   Would you get up and get back behind the chair? – do you want to be seen when the door opens?…  

Shit – look at that.   He’s full on spinning a web.   Fucking amazing.   Evolutionary engineering: perfect organic death trap.   Sticky silk spokes and spindle, so delicately played out they can rarely see it coming.   Beautiful lethal mesh, stretched ruthlessly, deliberately, inevitably across the path most taken.   The fine art of murder, planned and executed in minutes – and once the victim enters, there’s no way out.

Because waiting quietly in the center in the dark is the perfect natural death-dealer – patient, practised, with the hunger and the love of the kill rising in its cold tensed body.

He’s done this before.





That’ll be a key in the door.

Patience now…





    • Rosemarie Fullerton
    • Posted February 9, 2010 at 11:22 pm
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    “Evolutionary engineering: perfect organic death trap. Sticky silk spokes and spindle, so delicately played out they can rarely see it coming. Beautiful lethal mesh, stretched ruthlessly, deliberately, inevitably across the path most taken. The fine art of murder, planned and executed in minutes – and once the victim enters, there’s no way out.”

    Pure poetry. That was beautiful.

    • awhirlingdervish
    • Posted February 10, 2010 at 1:24 am
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    I have a resident spider that is not only a cold-blooded, death dealer but also has a twisted sense of humour.

    It reminds me a lot of you.

  1. That was another awesome post. I do fear spiders. I used to just think of them as creepy crawly little bastards who I like to attack with insect repellant. Now, I see them as cold blooded murderers which sort of creeps me out more. Cheers! Like you weren’t scary enough. That said, suppose as long as they don’t drag me off into their web’s I should be safe….at least from them!!

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