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After your recent interrogations of me, you won’t mind if I bite back, will you?

You see, I’m meant to be doing a calculus test right now, but with the teacher also surreptitiously checking her phone under her desk (disturbingly enough, I think that means she got some action on Valentine’s Day…) – and with the unsettling distraction of someone’s wheelchair parked only two desks over and three desks down… well.   You do the math.

So.   Pop quiz, kids.   Let’s see who’s been paying attention lately…

1.   Who or what is Brix?


Uh, uh.   Answer first.   THEN you can scroll down…



If you answered ‘douchebag’, ‘dickhead’, ‘fuckwit’, ‘a-hole’, ‘moron’, ‘jock’, ‘nemesis’, ‘psycho’, ‘cold-blooded killer’, ‘deadmeat’ or any combination thereof, give yourself a fucking point.   Like I haven’t had enough to piss me off lately, without Brix coming back to school, being welcomed like a hero, and wheeling around like Dr. Xavier or Blade’s Quincey Harker for fuck’s sake. (Bonus points if you know who they are…)


So. Brix.

2.   Who gave Harm and I shit at the mall?



3.   And then in the media lab that time…?


Yep.   Brix.

4.   And what did the second little pig build his house out of?


Trick question, stupid.   Stix.

Back to the other thing…


5.   I didn’t draw first blood for once though.   Why not?


Obscure one.   Brix dropped an elephant on me.   True fucking story, all right?

6.   What nice little blackmailing secret did I find out the night I went to visit Brix?


That drug-fucked Mommy dearest is clearly intent on giving her son the ‘troubled childhood’ defence…

7.   How did said Brix express his dissatisfaction at my discovery?


Yeah, that’s right.   Fucker shot me.   Point-blank.   And if you don’t bloody remember that, I and my guts sure as hell do…

8.   If you either didn’t guess that last question or don’t give a shit, how many fingers am I holding up?


One, of course.   You shouldn’t need to guess which…

9.   How many Brix were thrown when I came back to school apparently unharmed?


None.   Dude didn’t even blink a fucking eyelid.   What the fuck?

10.   So why didn’t I kill him immediately?


Ah, well.   Fucking fate intervened, didn’t it?   Or that tree did, in developing an unexpectedly close and abrupt relationship with Brix’s car.   Now he’s got an intimate relationship with another set of wheels – but they tell me he’ll be onto crutches by next week…


Bonus question.   Here’s the clincher…

*   When, where and how should I kill him now?


Know what?   That’s a good fucking question…


Shit.   Class is over.   Gotta be better than my calculus results will be…   

Score out of /10, kiddies?…





  1. HAHA Love it. I got 10. YAY! See, addicted I tell ya =D I can’t wait to read all about the answer to the bonus question. Bring it on!! =)

    • Rosemarie Fullerton
    • Posted February 15, 2010 at 4:13 pm
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    goose egg. does this mean i have to stay after school?

  2. 10! gold star..I think u should release the brake on his wheelchair! or kick his crutch out from under him..But knowing you. Revenge will be much sweeter..

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