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So now you’re probably up to speed with the whole building a bridge with Brix and getting over it, yeah?   Harmony mentioned last week the rumor was he wasn’t at school because he’d apparently had a ‘relapse’, and that his little cheer squad were saying fond things about him ‘having tried to do too much’, and ‘over-exerted himself’.   Awww.

Huh.   You and I happen to know another version of that story, now don’t we, kiddikins?

So in the light of all that and out of the kindness of my ruthless, uncaring heart, I sent the guy a ‘get well’ card.   I know.   I’m a fucking saint, aren’t I?   It gets better.   See, the front of the card has a fluffy bunny in a bed, with a bandage across its brow and one leg up in a sling, and a shiny silver banner above him that reads “Here’s Hopping For A Speedy Recovery“.  

(I quite like the paradox that clearly hopping and speed are currently out of the question for this patient – so the sign seems a concerted effort to rub his weakness and incapacity in his face.   Apt, eh?)

Inside it says:

Dear Brix,

Sorry to think you had a rough weekend,
dude – looks like you bit off more than
you can chew?   You should totally rest
up for a few days, agressively rehydrate
(as they say), eat lots of red meat and
stuff – I can particularly recommend that
part.   Be looking forward to you getting
the blood pumping again so we can hit the
field for a game or two soon, yeah?   I’d
say take care of yourself, but seems like
that’s something I’ll have to do in the
future sometime, isn’t it?   So get well,
man: indulge your taste for the good life.  
I know I will.

Cheers, J8

 

And here we are, a whole fucking week later, and not even a thank-you reply for my concern?   Geez.   Gratitude is clearly dead.   Or it very nearly was, anyway.

No matter – I’m doing fucking brilliantly.   Nothing like finding a happy solution to the things you’re eating away at. 

See – when all else fails, you should just have your Brix and eat him too.

 

NEXT ENTRY…

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8 Comments

  1. . . . .Awesome!

  2. Fantastic.
    Funny, though… I read about the rabbit on the card & my mind immeiately leapt to “rabbits are always prey, never predator”, instead of the hopping and speed jab.

    • Hell yes – I wasn’t buying him a card with lions or tigers or bears, oh my…

  3. How clever of you! That poor bastard, obviously came down in the last shower and thought he could defeat you. Showed him!

  4. Am i the only one who thinks this is a really stupid idea?

    Basically Jonathon8 is risking his pale-A55 for our entertainment (which i have no problem with whatsoever :D) BUT if “brix” were even remotely intelligent, he’d shoot jonathan8 a dozen times then drag J8’s ass somewhere and THEN proceed to torture him.

    ಠ_ಠ

    Which i’m fine with except we wouldn’t be getting any blog updates now would we?

    ***Note i am suspending my disbelief for the sake of this argument.

    I mean come on, Vampires? pffft.. Reanimated “corpse”? Supernatural creature? a guy would have to be crazy to believe in them.

    Now werewolves, on the other hand, are totally real. 😀

    • Just to clarify:

      Rebuilding Brix is totally for my entertainment. He already tried your plan – didn’t go so well…

      A suspension of disbelief means you do actually believe in the fantastical.

      Overall, don’t worry though. I’m happy to doubt your existence too.

  5. I was kidding, the last statement actually pointed out to my being crazy and thus pointing out my belief on the possibilities of vampires.

    Where as:
    if = belief in vampires
    then = crazy
    thus crazy = belief in Vampires
    ergo = me (BRBF)

    ◕ ‿ ◕

    I’m smarter than you.
    (Smug)

    I still love your work.(i’m used to lesser beings.) hehehehehe just KIDDING bro. I’m just glad you updated.


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