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Yesterday Harm made me go clothes shopping with her.   I did need new shoes and a jacket (blood stains are a bitch) – and maybe some space to clear my head after that message I got.

So we’re there in the change rooms of some funky bohemian boutique.   I’m lazing around on the cushioned cubes by the wall mirror, and talking to Harm through the curtains while she tries on dresses.   Told her about meeting this Dwayne guy, and she said he sounded liked a wanker (Dwayne: read it and weep, man…), then came out to frown furiously at her full-length reflection.   The hovering intrusive sales woman (teetering precariously between the obvious desire for a sale, and the panicked fear everyone who passed throught the door was a potential shoplifter), buzzed in to offer hopeful and insincere compliments, but it was Harmony who made the sting:

Harm: (still glaring viciously at herself in the mirror) It makes me look pregnant.

Insectile sales woman: (with excessive enthusiasm) No, no!   It looks great on you.

Harm: (with withering sarcasm) I’ll come back when I’m pregnant.

The woman swarmed about anxiously a moment longer, until Harm made motions of stripping off the offensive garment there and then.   Bee lady beat a hasty retreat.    Harm rolled her eyes at me, and rattled the cubicle curtain hooks closed, and my phone rang, so I hurried out into the fluorescent sunshine of the mall to answer it.   Because it was Kane.

J8:   (getting run into by random granny with trolley, and fumbling phone to his ear) Hey – hey, dude.

Kane: (a beat) Hey Jonathon.   How’s it going?

J8: Yeah, yeah, good.   Just – you know.   Kicking back, doing some shopping.   Got a pair of Converse on sale and stuff.

Kane: Cool.   Hey.   I’m coming up next weekend – Mom’s got a conference, and we’re staying with my aunt.   It’s gonna be dull as shit.   Do you – do you wanna, like, hang?   Go see a movie or something.

J8: I…

Kane: (quickly) Fine if you don’t.   I mean – I did go all fucking Scorsese on your ass the other week – going nuts and stuff.   Totally fucked-up shit, I know.   But – you know.

J8: Yeah, man – I know.   It’s good – movie sounds like a fucking plan.   Let’s do it.   Gotta be something good on with a high body count, a fuckload of explosions and a kick-ass CGI action scenes budget, yeah?

Kane: Sweet.   Yeah.   Okay.   See you then.

J8: Yeah, dude – yeah.   Catch you later.

(End of transmission.)


Okay.   So it was weird.   But good, right?  

I mean – I didn’t give away anything about his dead girlfriend, did I?





  1. Arsehole.

  2. I can’t believe you went shopping with Harm, totally against your tough guy image 😉

    • What – you expect me to still be wearing sixteenth-century hessian? Fuck no – that shit itched.

      Besides, as any tough guy knows, best way to track your prey? – blend in…

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