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1. Bite the fingernail of the little finger on your right hand.

2. Enjoy the full use of fingerless gloves.

3. Do your favorite ‘flip a coin across your knuckles’ trick.

4. Pursue your dream of becoming a concert pianist, or finger paint to full capacity.

5. Touch-type without a limp, use sign language without a stutter, or give a successful high-five.

6. Hide it – people ask all the fucking time.

7. Make up plausible-sounding stories of how it happened (“…Was helping my Uncle Eddie renovate, and I christened his new lathe…”)

8. Recognise your own bloody hand – I do a fucking double-take every time I look at it…

9. Suffer the sick fucking bastard who caused it to live.

10.

 

NEXT ENTRY…

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2 Comments

  1. Actually (and I’m not making this up) I have a friend who teaches clarinet. One of her students lost her little fingertip while ice skating, and she got some sort of prosthetic extension so she can keep playing.

    So there’s your excuse, Johnny8, and your solutions to nos. 4 and 7.

  2. Know what else you can’t do? Make a proper rockfist. For that alone, punishment should be cruel & unusual.


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