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Having met up with Kane and Harmony for a second late-night viewing of Inception, train carriage home was pretty empty that time of evening.   One couple in a corner, trendy guy by the door, and the dude with the beer and his feet on the seat opposite.   Oh – and one Jonathon.


Couple get out at the next station, and the dude watches them off, then leans over conspiratorially.

“Fuck ’em, eh?”

Jonathon considers.

“No, thanks.   Another time maybe.”

Dude misses the point.

“Nah, man – fuck ’em.   Fuck those bastards comen inta our country and stealen our jobs and crowden up our fucken cities, and not even speaken goddamn English, for fuck’s sake.”

Jonathon considers.

“So you’re indigenous, are you?”

Dude misses the point.

“Shit no, buddy – them lot are all, like, blind fucken drunk and sniffen or shooten some kinda crap all day.   Do I look that stupid?”

Jonathon admires the spectacular failure of rhetoric.

Trendy guy folds up his paper, shoots a scathing look at the dude, and gets off at the next station.   Train and dude start up again.

“Then there’s them, eh?   Makes me sick to even see ’em.   Fucken homos…”

Jonathon considers.

“He was gay because he’s well-dressed?”

Dude misses the point.

“Don’t even fucken get me started on the clothes today, man.   Dudes in dresses, or turbans, or with fucken curls on their hats, and women with goddamn towels over their faces.   Why the fuck don’t they all just fucken go back to where they fucken came from?…”

Jonathon considers.


Jonathon responds.


“Funny you should say that…”

Jonathon leans in.

Dude instinctively recoils a little.


“…See – I’m not actually from around here myself.   In fact?   I’m not even human…”

Jonathon smiles with his teeth.

Dude can’t miss the points.


“Know what I am?   The great equalizer.   See – I don’t make any fucking racial or sexual or religious distinctions.   Know why?”

Dude shakes his head dully.   A small pearl of perspiration slides gently down his temple.

Train pulls in.

Jonathon continues.


“Because everyone pretty much tastes the same in the end.”

Dude’s heart stops dead.



And generalisations are then proved wrong again –


Love the taste of bigot in the evening.





  1. Beautiful

  2. beautiful indeed, both the writing and the act. Just a bit worried that he got such a classy death….

  3. I love these flirtations with fantasy and beautiful stories, you should publish them as a great work beyond the scope of Twilight.

    But I don’t think the stories of a teenage goth obsessed with debunking Twilight myths and reviving more classical vampirism would fly well enough with most of the Covens and Courts and Houses that’ve already come up in the ages thanks in part to the OSV and their work. I know my clan isn’t very impressed.

  4. Fantastic!!!

  5. “Because everyone pretty much tastes the same in the end.”

    This works on a much broader scope than just humans as vampire food, and is basically my argument against racism and bigotry in general.

    Except, y’know, the tasting part. More to do with people existing as basically the same than tasting.

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