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For starters – didn’t mention I’ve been back to work.   Partly because it was dangerous.   Partly because it was lame.   Mostly because it’s fucking boring.

School was an obvious target for any pyromaniacal, appendage-purloining, attempted-Jonathon-killers in the vicinity – but days persist in being long and sunny, and I’m poor as a fucking vampire mouse (another story), so had to return to the hallowed mall unobtrusively to fill in the hours and fill up the wallet.   Daisy has paid off my old rent debts, but Py told me being broke was my own fucking fault for fraternizing with a shithead like Dwayne (another other story) and has never coughed up a cent.   He’s kinda got a point.

Remember my job?   I fucking didn’t.   Felt like years since I’d been back, but fortunately I had told them I had exams and wouldn’t be about.

It was true.   I just ended up being a different sort of test subject during that time.   Let’s change the subject.

Thing with time in retail? – apathy and monotony grinds it to a bloody halt, along with its employees’ souls into dust.   Probably lucky I don’t seem to have one then.   Doesn’t make being on the clock tick over any faster though, or the clockwork trundle across the finish line any sooner.  

Yeah, yeah.   I get it.   Be nice/rude to customers (depending on boss proximity), hang up some clothes, open some boxes, chuck out some hangers.   Repeat.   Ad nauseum.

Sean, who looks like he’s been attacked from behind with a blowdryer, comes and leans on the counter next to me.

“I am so over this…”

I cover my right hand quickly with my left.   “I had no idea you were going to say that…”

He makes a gutteral noise of general despair in the back of his throat, and puts his head on his own hands – carefully, so as not to mess up his fringe.

I amuse myself by looking over the customers for dinner options.

Eat her.   Eat her.   Eat him.   Wouldn’t eat her.   Eat him.   Not him.   Ew.   Definitely not him.

When Sonja the boss comes back from break though, Sean will be diligently dusting the fixtures, and Jonathon will be showing his teeth to a customer buying a bad cardigan.


Smiling.   I’ll be smiling…


Probably because I know what happens next.





  1. Have you ever bothered looking into Dwayne’s accounts? Tried to access them? Figure out what he did with your money?

    Emptying out your account like that, he had to have left a data trail SOMEhow…

    • Hey – he was the computer geek, not me. You know how to do that shit? Hell – I don’t even know what last name the guy was using…

  2. Who says Dwayne didn’t give that info up to Bixy-wixy and Amelia? You’d be surprised what people will do when they’re on fire.

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