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Only been travelling in the company of your lot a couple of times.   Always by neccessity, and so far? – it’s always ended badly.   I don’t fucking play well with others, and meal times – are a problem.   Especially if I’ve been dieting.   See, my splurges of gluttony don’t mean gorging on everything in my hotel mini bar – more like everyone on my the hotel floor.   Imagine a kind of one-man remake of The Shining, yeah?

Heeeeere’s Johnny…

But I figure I’m going to have enough to bloody deal with overseas this time without consuming my travel companions, disposing of bodies in foreign cities, and avoiding international notoriety.   Again.   

Though,  honestly? – it’s gonna be hard to avoid.   If it wasn’t for the fact Harm’s family leave a bad taste in my mouth already, I would already have done society a noble service and offered a permanent solution to stop that spawn child crying, Caleb whining, Nikolas gurning, and Caroline fucking talking.   Sheee-it.

However, they are – quite literally – my ticket to Europe.   So I’m gonna need to grit my teeth, pack my bags, and just suck it up.  

Er, I  mean – eat before we leave.

Eat a lot before we leave…




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