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The first sign of madness is talking to yourself.   The second sign?

Listening.

 

But that’s pretty much what all online communication comes down to, isn’t it?   Blogging, social networking, Twitter, Facebook…Having a prolonged public conversation with yourself.   And you really don’t know who the fuck is listening, or why, and most of the time they don’t like to interrupt anyway.

Because they… I mean – you… have your own agendas, right?   You read for amusement, thrills, gossip, secrets – to recognize yourself in the mirror, to be in on the kill, to hear how the dark side lives.   But often – you’re bloody quiet about it.   Reading now is solitary, passive, introverted – it used to be loud and aloud and allowed to be active and social.   And thus writing now is that first sign of madness.

See – when I started this whole fucking blogging thing, it was a passing amusement for myself, to a dark faceless empty readership world.   But now – now there’s an audience I know, and it’s a hostile, dangerous one.   Py first, then Amelia found it to comment on, and then Brix took it  over– this blog has a crowd of menacing faces watching it now, way more fucking scary than any hard-ass reviewer…

So it’s not so easy to write.   And it’s not because touch-typing sucks without a little finger…   No.   It’s because now I have to think about to whom I’m writing when I used to be so fucking careless about that, what I’m giving away about myself and where I’m leaving room for anyone to – well.   Stake their claim.   Fuck you Py, for always been so fucking right

The solution?   Continue to write smarter.  

Oh – and reduce that bloody hostile demographic by one – or two…

We’ll call that editing, shall we?   The final cut.

 

I always relish a challenge.

 

NEXT ENTRY…

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2 Comments

  1. “The final cut”

    Deep and clean I hope 🙂

    Your writing, so hostile, so bloodied, but so beautiful.

  2. When this is all over & you have finally beaten A, I hope you abandon all this caution. Write freely again! Please don’t learn any lessons.


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