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Dubrovnik is all dazzling white marble reflecting bright Croatian sunlight, and the planned morning excursion along the length of the extensive city walls held no appeal for this night monster.   I was left with the ignominity of minding the empty baby stroller, ensconced at the top of one of the steep stone-staired streets, so narrow and walled-in with buildings that it never sees the light of day.  

The shade was not a relief to be enjoyed in solitude, however.   When Harm’s nephew Caleb threw a fucking great tantrum at the ticket office over the impracticality of being denied early morning icecream, I became both baggage-handler and child-warden…

We sat and leant our elbows on our knees in silence for a while.


Oh shit.   Here we go.






“You got any family?”

The stairs yawned out in cool complacency before me.   I thought of ancient mothers, forgotten fathers, broken brothers and silent siblings.   I thought of the threat of Amelia, the absence of Py, the distance of Daisy, the loss of the Cat, the shadow of Brix, the fragility of Kane and the ignorance of Harm.








  1. I have been waiting with bated breath to see a e mail has changed..

  2. Quite sad and touching. Or manipulative and creepy…? Hmm.

  3. And you miss the Cat the most…

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